I often say to the kids, "put your hand up if you like losing?"

Clearly no one puts their hand up.

Unfortunately, someone has to lose in this sport as there are no draws. You win by points, submission or by referee decision.

I hate losing.

In my family we have a saying that first place loser is second place, and if you came third you were beaten by a loser.

I know what you're thinking, that's pretty harsh. But it gives us the opportunity to reflect on what we could have done better and if we were making the best of our training as well as the matches we played.

You can use all the clichés you like about losing like, you get some of your best lessons from a loss. But who goes into a competition to lose? That's right, no one.

But how do we learn from competition, specifically from a loss?

Here are six things that I can help you with from my experience over my time in the sport of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.

Training - Have you trained enough?

Training regularly will assist in how you are going to fight.

Athletes that train once or twice a week to prepare for a competition don't really stand a chance. What's even worse is when the same athlete who trains once or twice a week leading up for a comp, trains four or five times a week.

They will get injured and burn out. When it's time to compete they'll be lethargic and probably get sick from a cold as they've put so much stress on themselves. We haven't even factored if the athlete has to cut weight either.

Competitive athletes need to be training a minimum of four times a week and have a mindset that their opposition have been training harder than what they have. Just don't over train!

Plan each session you attend, and try your best to execute it. Don't deviate from this plan. Attend regular stand up classes, and listen to your body.

Cutting Weight - The first competition you enter you shouldn't really be concerned about weight. You'll see whether you are in the right division or not when you see athletes in the same division.

Ideally you should be at your competitive weight at least three weeks prior to the competition. This is hard for children as they can have sudden growth spurts so it's best to weigh them right up to the change/check day to get them in the right division. By the way, there's nothing wrong with placing a child up a weight division, just don't use it as an excuse if they lose.

Being at weight three weeks prior to a competition will enable you to see if you can eat and drink on the day of the competition. 

If you're stressing about your weight in the week of a competition that will negatively impact on your mindset and performance. I've seen plenty of athletes running to a sauna (if the complex has one) or not drink water which will increase the chances of injury.

Mindset - A positive mindset will pay dividends.

Many athletes will have negative thoughts leading up to the fight, and quite possibly through the fight. Some see their opposition and immediately think negatively.

If you identify this in yourself, start thinking of the positive things you've achieved in your training.

Me personally, I look at my opposition and tell myself that they've never beaten me, and that I am the champion today. 

Even before the referee has called me onto the mat I've told myself I've won. I won't let any negative emotion or thought into my head because what happens next is up to me!

Technique - I've trained hard, learnt some new things but I couldn't get out of that damn guard.

I remember a time where I competed in the Philippines in a Nogi competition, only to get stuck under side control for a good portion of the match and it sucked.

When I got back home I discussed with my teammates this sticking point in the competition and straight away the answers came in thick and fast. The best one was, learn more than one way to escape side control.

So that was it, back to the drawing board. Drill side control escapes and start every roll from bottom side control.

Every match we play gives us an indication of where we are deficient irrespective of your attack, defence or escape.

Your last comp may have seen you get the best position for the arm lock, but you struggled to finish it. So, go back to the start and learn how to get it right. Pretty soon you'll be able to execute the correct techniques in those situations.

Match Fitness - Did the match fell like it went for ages or was it quick?

If you are an athlete that consistently looks to the clock, you're unfit. Plain and simple.

You know you're fit when the match ends, and you see your opponent lying on their back, and you feel like the match just started.

It's understandable to be checking the scoreboard if you are competing on your own and there are no teammates or coaches yelling times and points to you. But if you are looking, your unfit and undisciplined.

The more you're looking at the clock, the more opportunities your opposition has to do what they want to do.

Don't look at the clock!

Excuses - You know the saying, excuses and opinions are like but holes, everyone has one.

Making excuses is the worst. You can't blame the ref, the opposition, the scoreboard, the people around you or your emotions.

"Oh but it was overwhelming", so what. Check yourself. You wanted to compete so you knew what were getting into.

For children, let them cry when they lose. Don't mollycoddle them. Let them work through their emotions and figure things out with their coach.

We want to give our kids a cuddle when they are upset, but it's different in sport. They must take ownership of the outcome. 

I remember at brown belt expecting to win gold in a big tournament once. I had mapped my oppositions weaknesses and a plan of my matches. The only thing was that I focused too much on the gold medal and not my first match.

I lost on submission with about 30 seconds on the clock whilst I was in the lead on points. I left the stadium crying.

An old teammate laughed at me whilst I was wallowing in self pity. He asked my what had happened and he told me that I was not focusing on the match that mattered. I was thinking too far ahead and not on the task at hand.

So there we have it folks, six things that you can reflect on with a win or a loss from your competitions. I believe that you learn just as much from a win as a loss, it's just how you reflect on your performance as you can always improve.

is so important and you should use this everyday.

It's too easy to focus on the negative or make excuses for why you can't or what stopped you.

But imagine if you change the mindset around specifically in our sport?

I have a friend who is a psychologist and he would always tell me that "your energy flows where your focus goes".

The problem is that most of the time we aren’t consciously aware of our internal dialogue, let alone how influential it is.

Our thoughts seem to arise out of nowhere. They are so automatic that it seems we have no control over them. To make the most of self-talk we need to make a deliberate effort to develop it as a psychological skill.

First off you need to become aware of your existing thought patterns.

Lets say you make an error when rolling. Do you criticise yourself for making a mistake? Or do you tell yourself, ‘Never mind. Let’s move on and figure out how to recover’?

Recognising our self-talk can be a tricky business especially in the moment and useful starting point is reflection.

This is hard but think back to a particularly good or bad performance and recall the self-talk that accompanied it. You could even watch video of your previous competitions or recorded wrestles at training to jog your memory.

How can we do this with our sport?

One thing you can do is plan what you would like to achieve in training, whether it's a specific move, ​escape or submission. Keep a log or diary of your thoughts about training and competition. The benefit of this is that you can track your mental patterns as you go along instead of relying on memory.

This requires discipline and is very hard to do for some people.

Training and competing require different mindsets though.

In training you might also find that there is a teammate that always gets the better of you, so you always look to avoiding them because the little voice in your head tells you your no good or that they will beat you.

These ARE the people you need to train with because they will elevate your skill set without you realising it.

In competition you can't allow the negative thoughts to enter your head and you will only make things worse when you check the profile of an athlete on Smoothcomp and find their stats are pretty good.

Very rarely do I notice of the stats or even look at the profile of another athlete. Especially when I've never 'played' against my opponent before.

I tell myself they've never played ME!

When I'm standing on the edge of the mat before the referee calls me on, I tell myself that I'm the champion, it's my day today. I won't allow any other thought to enter my head as your perception determines your reality.

When you hear your child athlete talk negative, don't focus on what they are saying. Tell them what you saw that they did you thought was good and build on that.

Just remember these two things:
- your energy flows where your focus goes
- your perception determines your reality

Every so often parents tell me that their child is starting to not enjoy their Jiu Jitsu because they are not being challenged.

I often wonder when a child plays ball sports, how they are challenged.

I guess when they play sports like AFL, netball and football the opportunity to compete against other teams is the challenge. Whereas in BJJ if the athlete lives in a regional town or city, they have to travel. This becomes the deterrent because at least one parent of the family unit has to travel and it can be an expensive venture.

So how does the child remain challenged in the sport of Jiu Jitsu?

White belts learn four fundamental positions; back control, guard, side control and mount. Within these four positions they learn about attacks, defences, escapes and must apply these skills when wrestling.

Advanced belts learn more complex positional plays.

I like to think of the four fundamental positions as seeds. When you plant a seed and it's given the right conditions, it can grow into a beautiful plant.

As the plant grows, it has a trunk, limbs, branches, stalks, twigs, leaves and flowers.  So how does a seed come into Jiu Jitsu?

Lets look at the seed called guard.

When first learning about guard, you learn about passing, sweeping and the submissions, these could be the roots of the plant.

As the athlete becomes competent with the position, they may become quite skilful in a specific submission or easily trick their opponent into a sweep. They start to see how they can better use their limbs and may start to play with an 'open' guard.

Now the trunk of the plant has been established, the athlete is shown a new aspect of the guard and this can formulate a new branch.

Should the athlete like the new technique they've been shown, they may become competent with the skill set and learn how to react to their teammates movement and therefor start to upskill in that guard. They'll learn how to manipulate balance, trap limbs, sweep and submit in various ways.

Over time some training partners will start to understand how the athlete is playing the position and learn to defend it.

The athlete that had been working so hard at that open guard play is now being challenged and has to upskill to best their teammates, and the cycle continues.

When athletes tell me that they’re not being challenged, I ask them when they last used the technique they have been concentrating on in a wrestle. More often than not I get a blank expression and they tell me that they tried but it didn't work.

Now it’s not about a technique not working, it’s about the athlete not allowing themselves to be beaten so they can understand and develop a new game.

Depending on the athlete’s persistence, some positional plays take months if not years to master. Only when you come up against someone you’ve never played against before who has been training for a similar timeframe, and you can execute your chosen technique and win, can you say you are not being challenged.

So the next time your child athlete tells you they are starting to get bored at training, ask them what they’ve been learning for the last few months. When they tell you, ask them when they executed that technique last or how frequently they are able to best their teammates with it.

If they tell you they don’t or can’t, they are not challenging themselves.

By the way, this happens with adults too!

Hey team, have you ever hesitated to put down a medical condition on a form when participating in an activity?

This would have to be one of the most overlooked questions on any form whether it's for sport or other activity, and it makes the work for the people running the activity really hard if they have to find out this information themselves.

Medical conditions can range from diabetes, pregnancy, mental health challenges such as anxiety or ASD.

What we'll do in this article is look specifically at our kids and how important it is to share information with the coaching staff, specifically with those that are on the 'spectrum'.

So many parents tell us that their pediatrician had recommended BJJ to them as a sport to help their child that may have sensory challenges, are ASD or have a neurological challenges.

This is great, however so few parents actually indicate these challenges that their child has and it can impact negatively on coaching children collectively.

Whilst it's great to get our kids out into society to learn different skills, meet new people and get some life experience, it is very important to inform the administration or coaching staff of the challenges that your child may have.

The most common medical condition that doesn't get identified on sporting forms is ASD. This maybe out of embarrassment or denial, but it's super important that this is noted. 

​Autism affects approximately 1 in 160 people, and is more common in males than females.  It is a neurodevelopmental disorder which usually appears very early, before the age of 3 years.  

Symptoms of autism include problems in social communication, both verbal and non-verbal, difficulties understanding of what other people are feeling or thinking, and having restricted ranges of interest or difficulty tolerating change. Some level of intellectual disability frequently accompanies autism.

​Many individuals with autism also have problems with being either more or less sensitive to sensory stimuli such as sounds, light, and textures; difficulties with sleep; and high levels of anxiety or difficulty concentrating.

It gets super frustrating when this isn't identified on any form or discussed with the parents. It can become a guessing game and when I've approached parents about their child being on the spectrum, some of them are shocked. 

From experience and over time though, I have developed a confidence where I am able to notice even the smallest ‘difference’ and tailor my delivery to these awesome children.

The reason why coaching staff need to know these things is so that they can better understand the athlete and how to best manage them in training as there is a big difference between a child diagnosed ASD and an unruly child that is looking for negative attention.

Coaching athletes on the spectrum is very rewarding. Their attention to detail and understanding intricacies of technique is phenomenal. Children with ASD stick to a sport such as BJJ more than other 'normal' sports because they are able to work at their own pace. The expectation to keep up with other children is not there and they don't get overlooked by their coaches.

I often use the analogy of children being pop corn; they all get the same amount of heat and oil, they just pop at different times. Any child that steps on the mat gets their opportunity to shine. They don't have to win a wrestle to be noticed and more often than not it's the little things they do that the coaching staff notice the most.

When I first started coaching, my coach said to me once that irrespective of who that athlete is they could be the next world champion and should be treated as such. It's stuck with me ever since and as such I give everyone the opportunity they deserve at training. Many of the world champions in the sport of BJJ are on the spectrum. Just take a look at Mikey Musumeci or Keenan Cornelius!

Overprotective parents fall into a fairly broad category of parenting; some may be driven by fear of injury while others may worry their kids won’t be successful without their constant attention.

Despite the varying circumstances, there are a few signs of overprotective parenting.

Controlling choices

If you’re perpetually making big and small decisions for your child without allowing them to think through the options themselves, you may be an overprotective parent.

If your child wants to try something new (like a sport or hobby), but you insist they stick with what they know or what you want, you’re suppressing their drive, showing distrust, and assuming you know better.

It’s important to give children space to consider options on their own. Of course, we can advise them, but ultimately, we want to encourage our children to be independent thinkers with their own confident opinions.

Sheltering from failure

It can be tempting to step in and “rescue” your kid from a bad grade or injured ego. That said, having your child’s teacher on speed dial may be indicative of a bigger parenting problem.

Kids are resilient, but only if we give them the opportunity to rebound. Success is great, but kids won’t truly thrive until they learn to overcome day-to-day failures.

Overreacting to failures

If you’re enraged over the sporadic bad grade or dismayed when your child gets rejected from an opportunity, you need to take a deep breath and be like Elsa — let it go. Overreacting to occasional failures is not helping you or your child adapt and grow.

Fear of injury

If you warn your child to watch their fingers every time they shut a cabinet door or gasp when they occasionally trip over their own two feet, you’re (understandably) worried about their safety.

Certainly, nobody wants a game of tag to end in tears, but trips, spills, and scrapes are a part of childhood. As long as a child isn’t in imminent danger, you should try to bite your tongue from time to time — or the veritable training wheels may never come off.

Intense focus on achievement

If you’re so focused on your child’s accomplishments that you don’t take the time to celebrate them and enjoy the simpler moments, you (and potentially your child) are missing out.

You can schedule tutors and sign your kid up for all of the enrichment activities, but focusing exclusively on academics and measurable achievements could be detrimental to your child’s mental and emotional well-being. We need to let our kids be kids.

Extreme rewards and strict rules

Resorting to outlandish rewards to motivate children and harsh punishments to deter them is another common sign of overprotective parenting.
​
You want your child to be motivated by their own internal drive and excited by new experiences — not dependent on bribes and fearful of threats.

What are the effects of overprotective parents?

All parents make mistakes, and it’s standard practice to worry about the potential long-term effects of your decision making. But it needs to be said that there’s no one right way to parent. You have to show yourself grace and kindness in this journey and know that you’re not going to always have the right answers.

Nevertheless, identifying any overprotective tendencies now can help adjust the outcome for you and your kids, as this parenting style can have lasting negative consequences.

Unprepared childrenPerhaps most significantly, an overprotective parent can create a child who’s unprepared to deal with what life may throw their way. They’re so accustomed to having a parent make their plans and clean up their messes that they may be helpless in the face of minor challenges and major obstacles alike.

Deceptive childrenIf your child feels suffocated by your very hands-on approach to parenting, they might start to lie. If they feel unable to face the pressure of unrealistic expectations or strict rules, they might twist the truth to manipulate the outcome and change your anticipated response.

Dependent, unconfident childrenIf your child always expects you to swoop in, they may not develop the self-esteem needed to become their own advocate.

If you do everything for them (from basic chores to finishing school projects), they may start expecting you to do other simple things that they can and should do themselves. Instead of taking on new challenges, they’re content to wait for others to handle issues.

Furthermore, a 2013 study out of the University of Mary Washington in Virginia found that children of helicopter parents were more prone to anxiety and depression in their late teens and college years.

Fearful children

If you stop a young child from doing things that may have negative but relatively harmless outcomes, they may become overly scared of trying new things. They may worry they’re going to get hurt or rejected and eventually shy away from experiences.

Entitled children

Kids who are used to having things go their way by design of their parents may have a harder time in the future when they realize that life doesn’t always work that way. They may even feel like they deserve things they haven’t earned.

Moreover, this issue is confounded if they’ve been perpetually motivated by rewards rather than self-satisfaction.

Tips for overprotective parents, as well as those on the receiving end

If you’re shaking your head in shame, rest assured that you’re not alone. There are loads of overprotective parents, who just like you, simply want their babies to be happy high achievers.

Identifying the problem with overprotectiveness is half the battle. You can learn from past mistakes, adjust your parenting style — while still showing ample love and support, and develop a healthier relationship with your children.

Steps you can take as an overprotective parent

• Take inspiration from others. Talk to other parents in your friend circle or community whose parenting style you admire. Ask them for their ideas and swap stories. But remember, there’s no such thing as a perfect parent, and no single style of child-rearing is best for all kids in every situation.
• Have an open conversation. Keep the lines of communication open with your child, regardless of their age. Be open to ideas and willing to hear out their wants and wishes — even if those are different from your own.
• Go easy on yourself (and your kids). Give yourself a breather. As a hovering parent, you might enjoy the relaxation a bit. If your toddler is experimenting on the playground, let it happen and allow the consequences to follow. As long as your kid is safe, you can let nature take its course. Rein in your instinct to shut things down and see how your kid reacts. They might surprise you.
• Talk to a professional. If you’re having a problem breaking away from your overprotective ways, seek out professional help. Therapy can be a great way to tap into your true motivations and find better coping mechanisms.

On the receiving end of overprotective parenting?

If you’re dealing with your own overprotective parents — whether you’re a child, teen, or adult — you, too, have some work ahead.

The first step to addressing the issue: Start a friendly conversation with your parents and express your feelings. Let them know you want to break this cycle of behavior.

You may think that your parents are controlling your choices, and you may be lashing out as a result. Positive change won’t happen until you take responsibility for your own responses, open up about your feelings, and establish some boundaries.
​
Outside counseling can also be immensely useful in helping you and your parents strike balance.

Takeaway 

Finding a fitting approach to child-rearing may be a fluid process full of trial, error, and compromise.
​
If you identify as an overprotective parent, you may want to work on some problematic tendencies and try some new strategies — and that’s OK. Parenting is a journey, and you and your kids can and will evolve. Have faith in yourself and your children — you can do this together.

Last medically reviewed on August 25, 2020

• Parenthood

Healthline has strict sourcing guidelines and relies on peer-reviewed studies, academic research institutions, and medical associations. We avoid using tertiary references. You can learn more about how we ensure our content is accurate and current by reading our editorial policy.

• Schiffrin H, et al. (2013). Helping or hovering? The effects of helicopter parenting on college students’ well-being.
  link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10826-013-9716-3

Injuries are almost inevitable in the sport of BJJ.

The worst injury I've ever seen has been a total rupture of the quadriceps muscles above the knee along with full ligament tears. This took a considerable amount of time to repair for the athlete, but he was still able to get to training.

Personally I have had knee reconstructions and made it back on the mat within four weeks. But I wasn't training.

What I did was make myself available to help coach other groups or sit and watch as technique was instructed.

As my rehabilitation progressed, I would start to get my movement back through certain exercises on the mat and continue to coach.

I would limit my contact with people and only partner with those that I trusted.

When I got the tick of approval from my doctor and physio, I would participate in the warm up component of the class and, if the technique would allow me, I would participate in drilling.

As I regained my strength and mobility, I would pursue bigger or stronger partners for more resistance in the movement.

Like any rehab program, there are tests involved, and only when the physio could see my progression would he then allow me to move forward in training.

Slowly my confidence would grow and I would select partners that I trusted to wrestle with.

This type of training works in several ways;

1. to remain in contact with training partners
2. to be able to still learn even if I wasn't physically participating
3. for my MENTAL HEALTH

Too many athletes will fade away not giving thought of how being present at training can actually help the rehabilitation process. They either come back to training;

• at maximum capacity only find the rigors of the sport too much on their body
• become despondent as they see their training buddies progressing 
• or they quit because.....

Over my time in the sport, I've seen people return to the mats at a reduced capacity with arms in casts, feet or legs in 'moon' boots and from personal experience, in a sling.

So how can you manage your injury to maintain some sort of training regiment?

It's as easy as speaking to your coaches.

When it's time to return to the mats, do it in a staged manner such as;

1. Sitting on the mat learning, even if you can't do anything
2. When ready, start with the warm up. If there is discomfort in the warm up, don't do it and go back to point one.
3. When you can complete the warm up for a week with no discomfort or thought to the injury site, start to become active in the drilling of technique. If this becomes uncomfortable, just do the warm up.
4. If you can do the warm up and drilling isn't a problem, begin to involve yourself in specific positional wrestling with select partners.
5. When you become comfortable with joining in the main group for positional wrestling, introduce wrestling with select partners and pretty soon you'll have the confidence to join the rest of the team.

If at any stage you feel discomfort or you lack confidence, just move back a step for a week until things feel right again.

Just remember, continue to conduct the required rehab you had been prescribed and DON'T rush getting back to rounds of wrestling. Otherwise you might find your back at the doctors asking for a referral to see a specialist.

​Train smart, not silly.

Have you ever thought how many hats your coach wears?

Probably not.

Running an Academy is a hard thing to do, it's very time consuming and those that take the big step in running something like this full time have very little time for themselves. More often than not athletes or parents of athletes don't give any thought or consideration to these people and what they encounter each day.

Quite often the main person that runs your Academy is not just the head coach but they are also;

• book keeper
• mentor/friend
• cleaner
• maintenance 
• reception
• mediator
• and a whole lot more!

If you're at a good Academy, what you'll find is that the owner is spending in excess of 10 hours a day to ensure that the running of the facility and classes are what the consumer would expect to receive.

But what's a good Academy?

To define what a good Academy you need to ask yourself;

• is it clean
• is it open on time
• are the classes structured
• is it a safe and welcoming environment
• is it comfortable (not just for the athlete)
• does the Academy communicate (not just personally but by newsletters, texts, etc)

If all these boxes are checked then you are in a good place, trust me. I've trained at places where

• the mats were only cleaned once weekly for an hour 
• the head coach asked me after I'd trained for three months one day if this was my first class
• only invited select people to 'functions'

What many Academy owners don't appreciate, is how lazy people are becoming, specifically with regards to information or how poorly they treat the facility (such as furniture). 

With the amount of technology out there, it's not hard to go on the web and look at your Academy's website to see what's going on or even reading their newsletter (if they have one). Some Academies have an app that can provide information as to what's going on, but more often than not the parents or athletes disregard this information claiming they didn't know.

Nothing is more disheartening when cleaning the facility to find shoe prints on furniture, rubbish or food left on the ground or the place left in a real mess. It doesn't happen at home so why let your kids jump on the couch or spill food everywhere? 

It's pretty disrespectful.

Whilst many BJJ Academy owners are typically the main coach, they also have 'normal' jobs outside of the Academy.  Not only does an Academy owner have the stressors of the BJJ school, their lives outside the academy requires attention like;

• immediate family and friends
• mortgage 
• their main job
• home maintenance

Their working week would well and truly exceed 80 hours a week.

Many Academy owners do this whilst they try to get their Academy up and running to a point where they may be able to take a wage. But this takes years as they need a consistent number members for it to be lucrative, and I'm talking over 200, even then they are probably taking a wage cut.

Whilst Academy owners want to share their passion of the sport with the local community, they never look to be a peace keeper or clean up after a child has made a mess whilst the parent/guardian could have cleaned it.

So the next time you see your main coach at the Academy, why not thank them for what they do for you or your child that trains. After all they are just trying to share their passion and make an already tough sport an enjoyable one.

Reg Peters
2nd degree black belt

Over the years I have had several ‘conversations’ with ‘school principals’ over the rights of a child to legally (and ethically) be able to defend themselves from physical assault …

Sure - I get it that schools have a ZERO FIGHTING/BULLYING POLICY - but there needs to be a clear distinction made between that and a ZERO SELF DEFENCE POLICY! The fact is that a ZERO SELF DEFENCE policy is a breach of human rights - as well as a policy that would stand clearly outside the scope of the law. The simple fact is that common law and legal defence trumps school policy.

If the assault was an emergent event, there is simply no time to go and call a teacher - if it was as easy as that, all assaults in the world could be prevented by just politely asking the criminal to wait, while we call the local police and solicit their assistance. The bottom line is this - we all have a legal and intrinsic human right to be able to ‘defend ourselves’ from physical violence.

The school policy of ‘zero tolerance for physical assault’ has already been breached when a child is assaulted by a bully - and that is where the civil right of being able to defend ourselves kicks in.

For those few school principles who do not understand this basic legal right, I ask the following: if they themselves were physically assaulted in their workplace, or in their own house, would they simply lay down and accept the assault or would they try to defend themselves? Any reasonable person already knows the answer to this question

The school has a duty of care to protect our children from physical assault on their premises. When they have neglected to take appropriate action, and students are forced to defend themselves, it raises certain legal questions? For this reason, it is good for parents of victims of bullying to keep records (written email to principles, etc) that show a history of what their child has had to deal with. This can be useful if it ever comes to charges being laid (against the school for example).
​
When a child does need to defend themselves against physical assault, the best possible strategies are grappling-based strategies. When the bully can be physically controlled without the need to resort to striking, this offers the best all-round solution. The two most salient reasons are these:

1. that the bully is less likely to want to physically assault the victim again after they have been physically controlled to the point of helplessness
2. through grappling and control-based strategies, the minimal amount of damage is inflicted upon the perpetrator (unlike striking-based strategies)

Simple questions for principles:

Are they saying it is against their policy for students to defend themselves?

Let’s be very very clear on this?

Because the answer might raise several legal arguments. All Australian citizens have a legal right to be able to defend themselves from physical assault.

Are they training all students in situational awareness to the point of providing the kind of capability that would allow students to report impending incidents? Because if they are not, how can they reasonably expect a student to report something that is ‘evolving’ so that a teacher can prevent the assault before it occurs?

The school might well have a zero tolerance for bullying policy, but so should each and every child. A clear distinction needs to be made between Zero Tolerance for Physical Assault - and Physical Strategies for Self Defence.

In my view, a principle who is incapable of making such a simple distinction , isn’t equipped to do his or her job.

John B Will
BJJ 6th Degree Black Belt

For this to be answered, we have to look at the different age groups and how it works in each demographic.

But before we do, I just want to let you know that more often than not, stripe promotions are awarded so that the COACH knows where the individual is in their training.

So, without further adieu lets get into it!

Every human likes their couple of minutes of fame. It doesn't matter what the individual is doing everyone likes recognition. Some will go out of their way to get it, others aren't bothered by it.

Like life, if you want to be good at anything you have to put in the hard work. I like to tell people that if they want to be a good runner, run. A good golfer, time on the course as well as driving range will help. Want to be good at BJJ, time on the mat, end of story.

Pee Wees are awarded their stripes typically by the amount of classes they attend although, sometimes we use the stripe as a way to motivate positive behavior. When the child can participate in a warm up without any difficulties (such as not listening or reluctance to participate like lying on the mat) then they would be considered more favourable and in some respects may receive a stripe earlier.

Second and third stripes (attendance based) are typically awarded when the athlete can identify the different positions with little to no prompting, and they start to understand how the positions work in a wrestle.

By the time they have their fourth stripe, they are actually ready for the next belt, grey. From here it is simply time on the mat by way of attendance, level of participation and ability.

Belt rank for Pee Wees is White, Grey/White, Grey, Grey/Black.

Juniors when they can tie their belt and pants is a good start! The other aspect is their ability to have an understanding of and be able to conduct primary movements such as shrimping and rolling (not wrestling), their level of participation and attitude all contribute to the first stripe.

After the first stripe, the athletes level of participation and attendance plays a major contribution towards each and every stripe. However, they must also have an understanding of the position that they work on each term.

There are four major positions in the sport and they are; guard, mount, side control and back control.

Each child will learn in the Juniors these four positions in attack, defence and escape. Once they have completed a four school terms they will be more than eligible for the coveted yellow belt.

Any Pee Wee that moves up into this group with a grey belt will remain at this belt for a period of time until they have assimilated to the group and are performing at that groups level, no longer a Pee Wee.

Belt rank for Juniors is White, Yellow/White, Yellow, Yellow Black.

Please note that all Pee Wees and Juniors are awarded coloured belts with a white or black band (or the belt is a solid colour). This does two things; 1 - differentiates the level of experience for the coaches and, 2 - places the child in a position of hierarchy in terms of training length, expected knowledge and expected behavior. 

Teens are graded very similarly with stripes. The biggest aspect of their training as a white belt is understanding the four main positions (as per Juniors) and attending class regularly. Yellow is the first coloured belt to be awarded.

Belt promotions in the Teens is a hard and long process. Many will quit because of external influences or lack of passion for the sport. 

Stripes are awarded based on their regular attendance but there is a considerable time difference between each stripe and belt. Other factors include their ability to learn and execute technique that is considered advanced, to take a risk and learn from the mistakes. This is where the true philosophy of Jiu Jitsu comes into play (as with advanced belts in the Juvenile and Adult categories).

Another reason why there is such a considerable space between stripes and belts is due to the fact that once they are 16 years old they are awarded their blue belt and they will be challenged by all Juveniles (16/17yrs) and Adults in the team when they wrestle. By now many Teens at the Orange/Green belt level would certainly place the adults on notice with their skill set.

The belt structure for our Teens is White, Yellow, Orange and Green.

Juvenile and Adult stripe promotions are based on attendance and required knowledge. All Juvenile/Adults participate in our 12 week white belt program which covers the four basic positions (along with techniques that enhance the main four). They must complete a full cycle prior to be eligible for a stripe, and complete four full cycles prior to being awarded their blue belt.

Blue belt is a hard belt for this demographic. They will be there quite possibly longer than any other belt in the system. This is because the blue belt is about learning their own game. Learning about their attacks and how to maintain a dominant position. 

A blue belt should expect to be at that belt for at least two and a half years. As such, more people leave the sport at this belt than any other belt.

At de Been Wodonga, purple and brown belts won't be awarded stripes. Now it is about their dedication to the sport, sharing knowledge and researching technique for themselves along with continual improvement.

Belt colours for this demographic are White, Blue, Purple, Brown and Black.

In closing, stripes are primarily a way for the coach to view the athlete. Whilst it is gratifying to be awarded a stripe, all athletes should focus on their own journey not the end state as this will make the best athlete.